It’s more than just moving on
Have you ever had that first love who you can’t forget up to this moment? Have you ever felt head over heels over someone you could never ever have? Have you ever been with someone who makes you a better person and who is the reason behind your endless smiles but then it just didn’t work out? Well, if you have had, even just one, then, welcome to the club! But how do we really move on from all the pain? Do we really move on?
If you would want to forget all the things that someone has done for you, then read on. Here listed are some of the most important things to ask yourself and consider when moving on. Some are helpful tips too!
1. Most importantly, ask yourself first, DO YOU or DO YOU NOT WANT TO MOVE ON? Because this will make all the difference.
If you have decided and you really now want to move on then that’s the only time that you should. If you’re having drawbacks, even a little, you might want to reconsider getting back together again with that person. Answer this question first as honestly as you can.
2. A Relationship is like a House.
Yes it is, if a light bulb inside the house is burnt out, you don’t go buy another house, you go buy a new light bulb to fix it. #ParangPagibig (Same with love) if one aspect of the relationship is in the rocks, you don’t break up, you go try and fix whatever it is that is lacking or missing, but then again, you don’t give up on the relationship simply because of something that you could’ve fixed.
3. Clear up all the baggage.
Once a breakup is foreseen, a way to lessen the pain is to say everything that is needed to say. Say how much you love the person and why even so you cannot be together anymore. Say all the things that they need to hear, like how you’ve always been there for them and most probably will still always be, but this time as a friend. Clear up the baggage so you won’t leave the relationship with a heavy heart.
4, All good things have their endings.
Learn to accept that not everything is bound to last, that forever may only be just an illusion for people to hold on to, that your love may not have been that strong to suffice and win over hardships and trials. Learn all those and accept them as bitter truths or harsh realities, but acknowledge also that they are true and they must be dealt with.
5. Baby steps but you’re getting there.
Confucius once said, “It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.” Same goes in love and moving on. Though it may really be hard to accept at first but at the very least you should be aware that things are over. So little by little you’ll eventually learn to live without their love, and after some time, you might just be ready for a more mature relationship because of all the things that you’ve learned from the past one.
6. Lovers no more but stay friends.
“Do you believe in life after love?” Can you still be friends with the person who broke your heart? Well, certainly. You don’t have to hold on to the pain and the bitterness, maybe it just went that way for you to be better individuals at the same time to open doors for better suited partners for the both of you. It might have went that way also because you were meant to be friends in the first place.
7. Live with the pain. Then dance with it.
Well pain is but inevitable, but then you’d get used to it some time soon. A day without it wouldn’t be complete, so learn to live with it. Pain comes in package when you love someone.
8. Don’t be bitter, be better!
It happened already so what’s the use crying over spilled milk? Don’t be bitter, strive to be better for the next person, so a feeling like what you’re having now won’t come back anytime soon.
9. Don’t avoid the pain, feel it.
You might still be in denial and you might want to return everything you’ve given to each other but that’s not actually how you cope up with it. As said already, you live with the pain until it hurts no more, you feel it til the feeling is a part of you already. You can’t dodge the pain, you just have to feel it.
10. Lastly, Go out, meet people, broaden your network and who knows who you just might bump into.
Is there a better way in moving on that actually MOVING ON? Going out on dates, meeting new people everyday, going back to the dating game once you’re whole again. You might just meet the love of your life.
I was gonna recommend booze but I’ve been there and it was not much of a big help so there you go people, it’s either we drown ourselves in our studies or just face it and be more mature and better individuals.